Two New McGimpsey Poems featured in the Montreal Gazette

For this month's poetry spotlight, the Montreal Gazette reprinted two "chubby sonnets" from David McGimpsey's new poetry collection, Li'l Bastard:

I blame you, Jacques Cartier

In the end, I had to go back to teaching.
Cleaving the possessive from the plural,
returning to Montreal like Richler -
at the age one ought to slump to Florida.

Leonard Cohen stays in California,
where, it is my understanding, he works
developing jam flavours for Smucker's.
Love is a fire, apricots are sweet.

Poet's Corner in Ben's went with Ben's,
replaced by a much handsomer building
with spankier selections of Spanx, ensuite,
just another place but without Applebee's.

The river speaks to me in TV themes:
Join the wacky St. Lawrence and the gang
for laffs a-plenty in La Belle Province.
In the end, I had to go back to teaching.

Speaking of stealing cars and running them off into the quarry to collect the insurance money, I ran into your father. Your real father.

It's so embarrassing, the cutesy pet names
adult lovers adopt. I called her 'pookie' and 'snook'
and she called me 'horseface' and 'the human wallet.'
Oh, snook, we bought so much lawn furniture!

Then, making my plans to move down south,
I stopped stooping from the weight of that shame.
I sold my hockey cards. Even Bobby Orr.
I sold my woodcarvings. Even Bobby Orr.

Yes, money poured in like gravy at the wrap
party for The Biggest Loser. I thought
a red truck and a beagle named Steve
were all any sensible Texan would need.

I asked her, 'Am I being vain or stupid?'
'Sweetie, it's like when you asked if I found you
ugly on the outside or on the inside -
it really isn't an either/or situation.'

To view the Gazette article online, click here.