as many times as i have thot to love you
acknowledging the permission your actions grant
to enter the imagined landscape of your body
taut breasts & bellied pubic hair
i have done nothing but think of you
naked as you bathe
followed your movements across the floor
behind the door i have feared to open
you have left unlocked for me
who would have & would not have possession of the key
not knowing what value you place upon it
not knowing the secret places where you dwell
darker worlds your eyes warn of
where the bed changes unpredictable as the sea
tossing you up into the arms of lovers
with what fears of drowning you have never mentioned
tho i see them there
wanting you as it seems i always do
trembling each time i've held you
                                                      & never spoken