Holding the Breath in Saying

for Daniel Macdonald

the breath
out
once more
once more inspired
to know
to know the missed passage
and to recognize
one or another
consequence
counted in missed time

counted
in the naming of love
and in the naming

no longer spoken by us at birth's mad moment
the first and the last ecstasy
forgotten by us
and no longer named

*

although, there is always origin
there is always sin
there is always
knowing
no thing

it is a clean scheme
a newly split slate
and you are not planning
and you are not dreaming

because you are about to be named
because you are all that is yet to be said
because you are born from and growing to
because you are discovering your hands
because you are given and we are taken
because you are the clarity and exactness that was the air
and water and land
because you are in between the place of being
and the place of returning
because you are the love of our control
and the control of our crazy love
because you have more place here than we do
because there is place here
because there is time here
because there is language here
because there is a pumping of breath through reeds here
because there is a drumming and muscle here
because there is a chance again for ritual
because there is a chance again for lyrical understanding
because there is a chance again for the story
because we haven't killed all the characters
because we haven't killed all the spirits
because we haven't spilled all the spirits
because we haven't dispelled all the rumours
because we haven't given up on beginnings
because we haven't lost all love
because there is love

and because, yes, love
and yes
in dream

and yes in our blessed wanting
of you

named and present

*

o boy o how
can we ever know you
how can we ever escape
the possibilities we shake
before you

before you can tell us
the truth you hold
and name

yourself and your own

great lad
great times
great meanings

we give you little choice

*

lad
how can I know you now

and how can you know me then
in this language and its accidental
clock

*
this ceremony is yours
like money in the bank
like spirits that are mustered
during the medicine man's beckoning
and our witnessing of the shaking tent

*

this is the land
and it heaves as we give it to you

our prescribed knowledge
small and contrived
in the blood truth
of your starting eyes

listen to our ritual
and enjoy our dance
but remember
small member
the hypnotic lightning
the crack of the winter sky
the heart of last forests
the perfume of our lies

and be charmed
by the measure
of distant birds
and blasted pines
and hold true the alarm of undersea cries

*

although, for the present,
your swim has been done
we bring this other sacred water
so to alert all spirits still streaming the sky
and to link each heart's pulse
beneath the burning clock of the sun

to the naming of you and the symbol you now become
in this air in this land in this life-long dream
in this hope of us in this exploding scheme

in this moment that for now slips by
in this name that contains your cry
in this word that remains
a vessel
a sound
a mouth
a breath out
a breath out
once more
once more inspired
love

October 15 1989