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SpiragitalationNew Moisturizing HorseTM from the Devil®. It comes in the mail and it won’t leave your walls hairy, or your arteries unburnished. There’s only one way to skin a cat – why bother when you can dance the night away in several languages while your babies sit bitterly at home under the viscous glaze of New Oysterizing QuartzTM from El Drivel®. It hums in the pail and it won’t weave your dolls scary, or your archery embellished. There are plenty of other fish in the ocean – why split hairs when you can drive like a millionaire through the wonders of the ages while your discarded lovers scorn you beneath the vicious gaze of New Roisterizing VortexTM from McDribble®. It thrums in the hail and it won’t heave your squalls contrary, or your aviary intaglioed. There are too many cooks in the kitchen – don’t settle for miracles when you can get eaten alive in every colour of the rainbow while your little lost sheep curse the day you were born below the visceral clays of New Bowdlerizing CoilsTM from Sri Dabble®. Unlike inferior products of a similar nature, it kills you instantly, freeing the soul to travel ever outward beyond the constraints of day-to-day physicality, to twirl through the realm beyond death like a pirhouetting rollerderby gorgon with a broken condom full of crystal meth up her ass. There’s nothing you can’t become, so don’t even bother not becoming everything. Kiss your gurus goodbye and pin a note to your blazer: SPIRAL AGITATION COMPLETE – ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER. |
