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Credentials, Attributes and Tendencies (Case 327 Profile)It cannot be dragged on carpet more than a few feet at a time. It cannot chew meat or digest candy. It can bleat and wallow. It cannot be scrubbed with others of its kind. It cannot pray while being looked at. It can duel fervently. It can sit for hours with a jigsaw puzzle, the pieces unmoved. It cannot understand more than a few words of English. It can ‘spraggle upon waggle’, but not as well as a cat. It cannot be seen with one eye, unless observed through a splitter-lens. It can be exercised methodically. It can listen with apparent interest to children practicing scales. It cannot scale a wall or a fish. It can be weighed on a scale but submits only impassively to this practice. It can be eaten but shouldn’t be. It cannot be removed from its natural habitat, for it hasn’t one. It cannot be weaned prematurely or circumcised without sedation lest it become traumatized and even more crestfallen. It can jump and frisk about, usually with ensuing funk and sulkiness. It can dream with sophistication. It can mimic car horns. It cannot live without wood. |
