| White Mice | |
|||
|
|
|
|
|
| (Lights up to discover Douglas sitting in a chair preparing to eat the cheese and Robert standing in the doorway.) | |
| ROBERT: | I’m home. |
| DOUGLAS: | Good, you’re home. |
| ROBERT: | Should I take out the garbage? |
| DOUGLAS: | Do you want to take out the garbage – or – |
| ROBERT: | Would I rather you did it? |
| DOUGLAS: | Would you rather I did it? |
| ROBERT: | Well – |
| DOUGLAS: | Well what? |
| ROBERT: | Well – |
| DOUGLAS: | It’s a simple question. |
| ROBERT: | Frankly – |
| DOUGLAS: | Be frank. |
| ROBERT: | I could use the exercise. |
| DOUGLAS: | Then go! Go! Take it out, take it out, take it out! |
| ROBERT: | All right, here’s! my! garbage! And I’m takin’ it out – |
| DOUGLAS: | On me! |
| ROBERT: | I’m takin’ it out on you, you freakin’ little mouse turd. |
| DOUGLAS: | Take it! Take it! Take it! |
| ROBERT: | All right, I’ve had a fucked-up day and the same song keeps repeatin’ in my head and it’s all your freakin’ fault! |
| DOUGLAS: | Why’s it my freakin’ fault? |
| ROBERT: | ’Cause you’re my brother and I love you! |
| DOUGLAS: | Oh, you don’t. |
| ROBERT: | Yes I do! |
| DOUGLAS: | No you don’t. |
| ROBERT: | Yes I do! |
| DOUGLAS: | No you don’t. |
| ROBERT: | Yes I do! |
| DOUGLAS: | Yes you do! |
| ROBERT: | No I don’t. |
| DOUGLAS: | See, you hate me, you stupid excuse for a stupid excuse. |
| ROBERT: | You stupid freakin’ tricker, you tricked me! |
| DOUGLAS: | What are friends and family for? |
| ROBERT: | What are friends and family for? |
| DOUGLAS: | Well, since you asked – |
| ROBERT: | Did I? |
| DOUGLAS: | Friends and family are for fantastic fanciful folly, fraternizing, and for the further fomentation of fundamental philosophies. |
| ROBERT: | Simply? |
| DOUGLAS: | Friends make the world go round. Without friends we’d be – |
| ROBERT: | Lonely, oh so lonely. |
| DOUGLAS: | My guiding principle is to get out, meet new mice, encounter new ideas and evolve. Grow or die, that’s my motto! |
| ROBERT: | I was out today. |
| DOUGLAS: | That’s the spirit. |
| ROBERT: | I walked for blocks and blocks. |
| DOUGLAS: | And how did it make you feel? |
| ROBERT: | Terrible, awful, lonely, lonely, lonely. I walk up and down the streets searching for a familiar face, a friendly smile, searching for something, anything, anything that doesn’t remind me of what a stupid abysmal excuse for a stupid freakin’ fuckin’ freak that I am. I’m cut off! I have no one to talk to except all the other stupid freakin’ fuckin’ freaks that look exactly like me, think exactly like me, walk exactly like me, and talk exactly like me! Everywhere I go I see the same stupid freakin’ blank faces starin’ into their own oblivion! |
| DOUGLAS: | It’s a sign of the times! |
| ROBERT: | So … I’ve decided to become political. |
| DOUGLAS: | Political?! |
| ROBERT: | Political. |
| DOUGLAS: | Political?! |
| ROBERT: | Political! |
| DOUGLAS: | Political?!! |
| ROBERT: | Political!! |
| DOUGLAS: | Why?! |
| ROBERT: | ’Cause I’m sick of this stupid freakin’ fuckin’ place and the way it makes me feel and I want to change it. |
| DOUGLAS: | But! But! But! |
| ROBERT: | But nothing! I have no hope for the status quo and if you had a soul neither would you. |
| DOUGLAS: | But isn’t your very existence political? |
| ROBERT: | Political?! I embody the status quo. Look at me, I’m all form, form, form. I have no content. |
| DOUGLAS: | But the content of your existence?!!! |
| ROBERT: | It’s! Not! Enough! Any more! |
| (Blackout) |