BRIGHAM YOUNG AND THE MORMONS

The Mormons are out there in soft limbo with elephants and tons of sponge candy. One's Brigham Young. Brigham Young is six feet tall and got wavy hair... AND A BIG GREEN COCK. "Fuck me, Brigham." say a woman making the journey thousands of miles across Nebraska and Wyoming and over the Rockies into Utah. She was spread out nude on back of buckboard wearing high-heel shoes and one rose between her teeth. Brigham took out his green cock and fucked her in front of the children, the men and women, the horses & the Indians up on the Ridge. He fucked her good. He gave that gal a good fucking. Then the kids fucked her. The little boys with their three inch dicks fucked her. The little girls tied buffalo horns against their groins and fucked her that way. They all fucked her good. An old man came limping up with his pants around his ankles. He had her stand and fucked her in the Amish fashion. Brigham Young watched his people fuck the girl. Then he looked down at the large desert basin. "This is the place," he said at last. "In this land we shall build our homes."

SALT LAKE CITY

Brigham stood in profile to his people. The wind blew, ruffling his hair. He had a good build and felt fine here at the end of his trip. He took out a reefer. He lit the reefer and passed it around to the many people who'd made the long journey with him. County Brothers Marijuana. It tasted good in the dry western air.

"All this has come about," said Brigham Young "because people in New York disliked our Mormon beliefs and our way of living. They say we smoke too much reefer. Fuck 'em I say! They treated our beautiful Joseph Smith so badly he killed himself. He jumped from his hotel room! The rest of us didn't have his courage I guess, and here we are on the threshold of a new life. Let's see if we can't make something of it!"

The Mormons built houses and planted crops. They built schools and churches and factories and wonderful sad old parlors. No more lobotomy kits in the cereal boxes! No more crayons for the children that exude poison horrible colors. No more suits that explode off the wearer's back at the touch of a red button. No more red buttons! Brigham Young was a genius with heavy muscles shown through his shirt like far away freight from Oregon down through cool trees at night. Brigham Young invented the Taffy Pull to see what laws they'd have. All the liberals got on one end, and the conservative element got on the other end. Anarchists got the center but were shot by silver guards before they were able to touch the taffy.

So laws were made and put into effect. The Mormons lived a highly organized and pertinent life. Until the day the crickets came. Millions of them swept in from the west. They ate every blade of grass and every green leaf they could find. All the citizens fought the crickets but millions more came. Suddenly, these weary heartsick people heard a flutter of wings. It was the whore with high-heels and the rose in her mouth. She swooped down upon the crickets and dropped Chinese Juice on them and they all died! The Mormons built a monument for the whore! Brigham Young kissed her feet. The children gave her flowers. The old men wept and bowed and kissed her hand and everyone was grateful to her. The whore didn't care much for all the fanfare. She liked Brigham Young's green cock was all, so after he fucked her again she took her Chinese Juice and flew to Babylon.