MOVING INTO KENTUCKY, TENNESSEE AND OHIO

Young America moving westward in Conestoga wagons, bearded father up front with corn cob pipe & younguns in back get into molasses & oId mother knit endless garments, sis rock 'n rolling to frontiering hippie and smoke from settlement miles away just over the hill for hopes and dreams of a better place to live, of better soil, of a healthier climate and of new beginnings and of time & experience and memories around flagstone fireplace with rockers by American Legend. O, America! O, heart squeezing sight of families moving westward into Kentucky, Tennessee and Ohio. Down the Wilderness Road. Through the Cumberland Gap. To Disneyland! With pack horses and rolls of featherbedding & spinning wheels and a big iron kettle full of LSD.

"I wish you could, Margaret," answered her mother. "I love that chest more than you do. My grandmother brought it from England when this country was still an English colony. But we'll have to leave it behind with the Mixmaster. It's too heavy to carry. We have only a few pack horses and we'll have to load them with the things we shall really need in Ohio."

"But surely we can take those beautiful candlesticks that Aunt Patience gave us," said the daughter.

"Yes," replied the mother sadly, "we will take them but we cannot take much of the furniture. Remember, we are going on a long journey across the mountains. We cannot take too much Horse along. I mean we cannot load the horses too heavily. But we ought to be glad we have a chance to move West and settle where the land is new and where the crops will be good. We will cheer poor widow Allen by giving her some of our best furniture, and kind Mrs. Wilson will be glad to have some of it. The rest we can sell in the village."

Scene is waterfront saloon in Pittsburgh where people are making preparations to travel the rivers to Ohio. It is a noisy cluttered place with a long bar and with sawdust on the floor and a fire place is burning. An old man is entertaining a table of Sycophants.

"Tell us a story, Mr. Button," they all call out in their Fred Astaire voices.

"Well...once me and Nathan Hale got ahold of some terrific reptiles in a forest just east of New York. That was some event I'll tell you...."

"What about the Indians along the way?" asked a sycophant about to make the journey to Ohio.

"The Indians are very good. I once knew an Indian up in Northern Michigan, the man had one glass eye and was the best pike fisherman I ever seen."

A groovy looking lady appears in full skirts and corseted vest.

"Would you like to go up in the back room with me, Mr. Button?"

"I'm talking to these folks now, Synthia, though later I'll have eyes for it."

With the heavy red face turned around and signaled. Out they came - a bald Chinaman swinging a chain of paper clips & wearing a zoot suit, and a team of Venezuelan hockey experts, skating with fierce determination.

PEANUTS POPCORN CRACKERJACKS!

Mae West, Orson Bean, Eddie Shoemaker, Ralph Bunch, Burl Tillstrom are all struggling to remain on the divine platform. Beneath them is a huge vat of Jello with walnuts and whipped cream. They fall and stick in the Jello. Five coin collectors. Mr. Button observes the disarray with superb nonchalance.

"Pretty nice," he says, and then looks above the bar where the rooms are and sees Synthia's finger beckon him from around a door. He leaves a tip and excuses himself from the sycophants.