Betty

and a shallow answer
in a shallow grave

architects with wicker chairs under their bums

felicity throws overboard
the only useless map and a compass chained to her throat
that finds its way back
when she comes around

marinated zephyrs like children to play
near the deck or the mini-vans filled full with coke
squealing overdressed crew members salivate at the harley
orange success drains all but the hastily clad of us

a hardhat over a turban
isn’t anywhere so funny
as a sheet over a suit

I’d rather ram my rifle
up your wazoo than hear any more a your goddamned pictures
sinking saints in sick! sick it’s like your kind
to mock all that we hold justice dowager pearl necklaces from her nephew
i’ll saint you you sons of bitches we married for lack of condoms
if only AIDS’d come twenty years earlier you wouldn’t be here to be here
would you write my boss a memo and tell her I’m fired?
while you’re at it go back to Toronto and develop niggeritis
I hear there’s a real need for youlazyfucks out there

she told me i look like dennis rodman we couldn’t enter her office

rants in a doublewide on a pad offer no archimidean point
elegies to the rich matter here only cause dated her in high school
by now a larceny of cross divorces links her hymnal to my virginity
here’s a hot seat for a woman why don’t you sit down for a while
and i’ll talk like i have a pussy in my mouth
it’s what i do best i love to go into battle and act like a woman i get farther

the crenellated critics all have it made
a house a cottage girlfriends who were never lesbians
the cheque from the bourgeoisie
for to tell them what’s up on the radio every now and then
write a column in the paper and debunk those faddish workers
you gotta decipher for the rich they’re a slow and dim lot
hampered by hampers of croissants instead of diapers

but you know really i think you have it much better off than her
i mean what with a kid in law school who needs brains
or boy friends with tits offering to buy you a new set
to replace the ones that suckled another tit’s kid who the government’s hunting
down with dna and – that’s right – lawyers
i’m just glad computers are here so i can find a job somewhere else
but i’d rather write for free and see my juice to go
jews’ve actually thought of the fact that we’re an anemic and stupid race
full of splintering girls in dresses of Shaft shifters
guys with more wax in their ears than on their trucks
an eightball for a gear knob and a garter on the rifle rack

sometime in the future you’re going to need those brains
don’t grind them up now for cattle feed that’s shortsighted
we’ll freeze your sperm anyway isn’t the needle nice
i just think someone should have told me some money was to be made here
where else do you think you can get a grant for shooting in the air
okay yeah but that doesn’t count because they’re trapped in that fail-safe
mechanism like a flea bit on a hot dog

i left his circus for her circus and vice versa
he couldn’t watch the high wire act anyway
i should’ve taken that for a sign and skedaddled
but instead i dawdled, dilly-dallied and
dandled on his father’s knee like a ballerina only to pay for it later
saw dandies on album covers as if books were alive and talking in my ear
pushed creationism down the throats of willing frogs and models
natural selection led the rich to starve themselves
they cut off our abortion rights so they can adopt our kids

grow more of their own, in the backyard, wherever a barbecue’s held
with croquet hoops for luddites and grass for miscarriage
the fail-safe mechanisms’ll getcha every time man
you can’t turn your back on them for a sec
or they’ll spew and you’re a goner
generally that means you’re just waiting for the start
a bunch of boats in the harbour I’d like to be a talking head for a while

i have a suit of fine shit designed by a designer
his signature is heaping documents
but the bottom line is what do you want me to say
sooner or later i’m bound to why no i saw everything else
like licking boots i’m better at polishing IUDs
though it takes more than spit and reading newspapers to come up with this crap

i’d just like to point out that i doesn’t know what i’m talking about
i can barely find words to express what i’m saying
a plastic border from a hallmark store would work better
i know a guy whose father owns one
there’s an occupation selling poetry to the masses
i wish i could find a mass maybe a mess would work better but i’ve never worked
so how could i know

well i know how you work
you work at fucking up
jerking off and fucking off
there’s less lady in you
than in that gap-toothed greaser strolling by
his brains wrapped in felt
he feels up his childproof lighter
or maybe they’re just smarter than you or me
and better at recognizing their face in the puddle
and when i say harvard cocksucker in cyberspace
you can be sure an american’ll be there to tell me off

betty it was a lot easier in your day you had it tough
reporting to the anthropologist what everyone was wearing
it’s wherever she wants to go she’s the navigator
and later i’ll give up son sleeping with men it’s hard on the kids
who’s daddy this week no i’m your uncle
tits touch tits and twat touches twat

if you spend time explicating lawn pizza and one-handed croquet
songs sung fastly have less charm than a reefer the size of my dick
it doesn’t look too big till you get it in your mouth
then oh boy look out press down with your lips i don’t need that harrassment

if you could take me around this country and explain it i’d appreciate it
i understand why we should look at trees and not people i’ll pass the word
yucca leaves and yucka flux are more fun with yakuza jukes
junkerheads are now at the bottom of society on the street not the serfs
and i resent people who make more money than i do
no you get a job and i’ll keep whining

let’s end with a narrative, a good one if you can find one
oh right
catholic taste is out cathode art is in
i’m not in but i have one
later i’ll marry someone rich that seems to be a good path to success
oh right
how about identity capitalism find a niche then another one then a third one
this is about selling books after all
don’t get all romantic
did you enjoy this poem
what kind of runners are you wearing